Whichever term you prefer, we can all agree that nobody likes a funky pair of testicles.
What Causes Testicle Odor?
Simply put, testicle odor is caused by the process of bacteria breaking down sweat into acids.
You have to understand that your entire crotch region is a bonafide bacteria paradise. It’s warm, moist, and sweaty. Bacteria thrive in these types of environments, which is why the ball sack and ass crack region tend to be amongst the smelliest parts of a man’s body.
So what’s a guy to do?
Wash your fucking nuts bruh!
It’s not exactly rocket science, but the first step to keeping your balls in peak hygienic form is to simply wash them. Duh.
While most store bought soaps and washes are capable of getting your balls somewhat clean, you aren’t here to settle on mediocrity. You want the fucking best for your balls damnit!
After all, you’re stuck with the same pair of balls for life. Isn’t it high time you started treating them right?
Without further ado, let’s get into it. Read on for my list of the 5 best soaps and washes for men’s balls. Enjoy.
- Manscaped Crop Cleanser
- Chassis 5-in-1 Shower Primer
- Gibs Puck It
- Jack Black Turbo Wash
- Tame the Beast All-in-One
5 Best Soaps and Washes for Men’s Balls Reviewed
Manscaped – Crop Cleanser
You got balls like a man, so it’s time to start washing them like a man damnit! Manscaped specializes in below the belt grooming products designed specifically for us guys. That means they know a thing or two about keeping ball sacks smelling fresh and clean. Their Crop Cleanser body wash is formulated to cleanse and hydrate, balance PH levels, control bacteria, and reduce inflammation and irritation. The result is a stink free ball bag with a refreshingly manly scent. Yay.
What I like about Manscaped Crop Cleanser:
• It balances PH levels
When your PH levels are off, bacteria is able to thrive. Not only does this turn your balls into a funk-fest (not as fun as it sounds), it can cause you to experience skin irritation and discomfort in the worst place possible. Crop Cleanser is formulated to hydrate the skin and control bacterial growth, resulting in a cleaner, fresher nut suck, and less irritation.
• Masculine scent
You’re a man, so it’s about time you start buying skincare products that help you smell like one. Manscaped Crop Cleanser is designed specifically for us guys and has a clean, fresh, masculine scent that is sure to put hair on your chest. About time.
Yeah it’s a great soap for balls, but you don’t have to stop there. Crop Cleanser is also great as a full body wash, and can even be used as a shampoo.
You want your balls to smell fresh, but you don’t want your soap to dry them out right? Crop Cleanser is designed to not only keep your balls smelling clean, but it contains natural aloe vera gel that helps hydrate, moisturize, and fight off odor causing bacteria.
Chassis – 5-in-1 Shower Primer
Chassis has a full line of men’s products designed specifically to clean and maintain the ball region, and that’s exactly what their 5-in-1 Shower Primer is intended to do. Serving 5 ball beneficial functions, Shower Primer:
- Eliminates odor
- Conditions body hair (pubes)
- Reduces friction
The result is a clean, moisturized, and fresh smelling ball sack region.
What I like about Chassis Shower Primer:
• Keeps you smelling fresh all day
Chassis is on to something here. While this is technically a soap (body wash) it keeps you smelling fresher much longer than your average run of the mill soap. While your typical morning shower will keep you smelling fresh for part of the day, washing your balls with Chassis Shower Primer keeps you smelling fresh all day. I don’t know how they do it. Sorcery?
• Reduces friction
Most men have experienced groin area chaffing and discomfort at some point in their life. The problem is our our balls, thighs, and dick are mashed together in the crotch of our pants like a fat chick in a prom dress. With all that skin-on-skin contact, a lot of friction is created. By reducing this friction, Shower Primer helps eliminate chaffing and irritation, and helps provide all-day comfort.
• Masculine scent
You got balls like a man, it’s time they started smelling like one. Shower Primer has a clean, manly scent that isn’t too strong or overbearing. Just rugged, masculine, and fresh. Just the way the ladies like it.
GIBS – PUCK IT
Perfect for your boys down low, this 5 ounce body bar by GIBS is designed to exfoliate and deodorize for all day freshness. Containing activated charcoal to control odors and trap them at the source, while shea butter and seaweed extract moisturize the skin.
What I like about GIBS PUCK IT:
Sometimes your balls need a little tough love. PUCK IT contains activated charcoal, and volcanic ash that exfoliate by removing dead skin, bacteria, dirt, and odor. The result is smooth, clean skin that stays fresher, longer.
• Smells awesome
PUCK IT has a really nice scent that lingers on the skin for hours. I can be pretty sensitive to intense, powerful odors, but I don’t have any issues here. The fragrance is fresh and masculine, without being too strong or overbearing. It simply smells great on the skin and balls. Now if I could only reach my nose down that far to smell it…
• It moisturizes
Most people tend to think that bar soap dries out the skin. That’s because the cheap shit everyone buys at the grocery store does dry out the skin. That’s not the case with this GIBS PUCK IT bar soap. It contains natural shea butter, and seaweed extract that moisturize the skin, leaving your balls and body smooth, soft, and hydrated.
• It lasts
This big 5 ounce bar soap has a pretty serious lifespan. As long as you take care of it properly that is. I suggest storing it in a dry location when not in use to help maximize it’s longevity. Expect it to last roughly 6 weeks with daily use and proper care. Pretty damn good for a bar soap.
Jack Black – Turbo Wash
Turbo Wash your balls bruh! Formulated specifically for guys like us, Jack Black Turbo Wash is designed to eliminate dirt and bacteria, while moisturizing the skin, and energizing the body. Containing all-natural and organic ingredients, this body wash is the safe choice for that oh-so-sensitive ball sack area, and is the perfect first defense against stink and odor causing bacteria.
What I like about Jack Black Turbo Wash:
• Eliminates bacteria
Since our balls have the recipe to become a bacteria paradise, it’s a good thing that this Turbo Wash is capable of coming in like hurricane to shit all over bacteria’s parade. Formulated with rosemary and eucalyptus, these two antioxidants contain antimicrobial properties that help eliminate and prevent odor causing bacteria on the skin.
No guy wants to leave the shower with dried out skin. One of the things I really like about this Jack Black Turbo Wash is that it’s designed to maintain the skins natural moisture balance, while contributing some moisturizing benefits of it’s own. Formulated with natural shea butter, this body wash does a kick ass job leaving your skin feeling smooth and hydrated.
While I personally like it for it’s bacteria eliminating capabilities, Turbo Wash’s job doesn’t stop at your balls. This body wash is designed to function as a full body soap, and even a shampoo. While I never would’ve thought I’d want my hair to smell like my nut sack, in this case it turns out to be a good thing.
• It lasts
This stuff isn’t exactly cheap, so I appreciate the fact that a little bit of this body wash goes a long way. Just a dab’ll do ya, and this Jack Black Turbo Wash works into a thick rich lather that easily performs it’s job from head to toe.
Tame the Beast – All-in-One
Strong enough to tame a beast, this all-in-one body wash has no trouble handling a little crotch stink. Formulated specifically for guys like us, this Tame the Beast all-in-one triples as a full body wash, beard wash, and shampoo. The invigorating formula contains caffeine, green tea, moringa extract, and eucalyptus for a refreshingly powerful scent that’ll wake you up in the morning like a kick to the balls.
What I like about Tame the Beast All-in-One:
You’re more than just a smelly pair of balls bruh. This All-in-One from Tame the Beast not only eliminates testicle odor and bacteria, it also serves as a full body wash, beard wash, and shampoo. It really kind of dumbs down the process of getting clean, which is great for lazy people like me.
• Awesome scent
Morning routines really kind of suck, especially when you’re still exhausted. While this All-in-One body wash scent won’t perform any miracles, it does offer a refreshing pick-me-up during those half-asleep morning showers. Thanks to ingredients like caffeine, eucalyptus, green tea, and moringa extract, this body wash has a refreshingly masculine scent that puts a little pep in your step when it’s needed most.
• It lasts
A bottle of this stuff isn’t exactly cheap, so it’s a good thing that it seemingly lasts forever. While you will pay a premium for the huge 33 ounce bottle (hey, it’s quality shit man), expect it to last a solid 6-7 months with daily use. When you balance it all out you might actually be saving money. I don’t know I’m not a math wizard.
Thanks for checking out my list of best soaps and washes for men’s balls. If you have any questions or experience with any of the above products, feel free to share in the comments below.