Sometimes having balls really stinks. Literally.
Unless you’re a full time nudist, chances are your balls spend most of the day mashed together in the crotch of your pants like 2 fat chicks in a Smart car.
With so little room to breathe, it only becomes a matter of time before sweat, perspiration, chaffing, and discomfort set it.
Luckily there’s a simple solution.
If you’re relatively new to the world of men’s grooming products, chances are you’re unfamiliar with a glorious little product known as lotion for men’s balls.
That’s right. Lotion designed specifically to keep men’s balls dry, stink free, smooth, and comfortable.
If you and your balls are rejoicing (I’m sure you are), feel free to read on for my list of top 6 recommended lotions for men’s balls. Enjoy.
6 Best Lotions For Men’s Balls Reviewed
Nutt Butter Extreme (6 oz)
Tame your sweaty, funky, chaffing ball bag with Nutt Butter Extreme. Tame the Beast specializes in grooming products designed specifically for us guys, which makes sense considering their Nutt Butter Extreme lotion is meant to be applied to a nut sack. Formulated to eliminate sweat, odor, chaffing, and discomfort, this lotion is the perfect compliment to your morning routine if you like smelling fresh throughout the day.
But what’s so extreme about it? The tingle is extreme! Tame the Beast’s original Nutt Butter formula offers a slight tingling sensation when applied, but they decided to take things a step further with this extreme version, and my balls couldn’t be happier about it. Tame the Beast rates the tingle at 59,000 Beast Tingle Units (BTU’s), which is just their way of saying this shit fucking tingles!
With enough tingle to have your balls doing an Irish jig, it’s only understandable that not every guy is man enough to handle it. If the Extreme version is too much for you to handle (pussy) don’t worry, their original Nutt Butter version is a solid choice.
What I like about Nutt Butter Extreme:
• Not just a ball lotion
Our balls stink, but so do our bodies. That’s why Tame the Beast designed this not just to be a ball lotion, but a full body lotion as well. So funky balls, pits, chest, back, and yes, even your ass crack can reap the benefits of Nutt Butter Extreme.
The cooling effect of menthol feels like a blast of cold water where us guys need it most. If you live or work in a hot environment, the cooling sensation of this ball lotion is going to feel like heaven on earth…but inside your pants.
What I don’t like:
Nothing. Fresh masculine scent, works awesome, refreshing tingle.
Fresh Balls (3.4 oz)
They certainly weren’t pulling any punches when they named this lotion. If you haven’t already guessed, Fresh Balls lotion is intended to keep balls feeling clean and smelling fresh. The unique formula comes out of the tube as a silky smooth cream, but somehow dries to a non-messy powdery finish. The result is fresh smelling, dry balls that won’t chafe, rub, or become irritated throughout the day. It’s pretty magical if you ask me.
What I like about Fresh Balls lotion:
• Works like a powder, but without the mess
I personally love dousing my balls in a refreshing powder, but I get it; ball powder isn’t for everyone. If you’re one of those guys that wants the benefits of a powder, but without the mess, I suggest slapping a handful of Fresh Balls on your nuts. The creamy lotion applies smoothly, evenly, and mess free, but quickly dries to a light powdery finish. Sort of picture two powdered donut holes… but with a penis dangling between them.
• Not just for balls
Yeah, yeah the bottle says balls, but guess what? I find this stuff works pretty damn good in other areas of the body too.
Rubbing thighs? No problem.
Funky pits? Just a dab’ll do ya.
Sweaty, swampy ass crack? Pack it in there bruh.
• It lasts
Not only do the effects of the lotion last for most of the day, the 3.4 ounce tube has a pretty impressive lifespan too. Since you really only need about a dime size amount per application, a tube of this stuff lasts longer than you think.
What I don’t like:
Although the fresh scent is good, it’s a bit gender neutral in my opinion. I’d expect a balls lotion to smell more unequivocally masculine.
ToppCock Silver (3.4 oz)
Top off your morning routine with Toppcock, and your dick and balls will be feeling fresh. This not-your-typical lotion is actually a leave-on gel that is designed to moisturize, soothe, deodorize, and keep you feeling fresh and dry all day.
Formulated with these natural ingredients, Toppcock Silver offers some pretty serious benefits for your ball bag, including:
- Aloe vera – Works as an antioxidant, natural moisturizer, and contains healing vitamins A and C. Perfect for guys who suffer from dry, chafed balls.
- Tea tree oil – Naturally kills bacteria that leads to funky ball odor, and also helps heal red, irritated skin.
What I like about Toppcock Silver:
• It moisturizes and still keeps you dry
With so many men’s products designed to do nothing but eliminate sweat from our nether region, it’s nice to see a product that actually has some ball moisturizing benefits to it. Toppcock Silver manages to simultaneously moisturize the skin, while still preventing sweat and moisture from developing a funky swamp in your crotch.
• It’s healing
If you’ve ever had to deal with a chafed crotch area you know how unpleasant it can be. One of the things I like about Toppcock Silver is that it contains natural healing ingredients that soothe irritated skin, and help promote healing. If you’re currently reading this and your balls feel like they’re on fire, this might be the solution.
What I don’t like:
For the price I would like to see them offer it in a larger size.
Comfy Boys (4 oz)
I spent years in the restaurant industry as a cook, and I’ll be the first to tell you that spending 10+ hours in a scorching hot kitchen is murder on your balls. While baby powder did manage to provide some temporary relief from the chafing and discomfort, I would have given my left nut for something like Comfy Boys to help me get through those long, hot shifts.
Comfy Boys isn’t just a lotion for your balls. It’s a deodorant for your balls in lotion form. That means it not only prevents sweat and odor build up, but it also reduces chafing, irritation, and discomfort. Sounds like a balls best friend.
What I like about Comfy Boys:
• It’s easy to apply
While I do like body powder, I’ll admit it can get a little messy when it comes to applying it. Comfy Boys on the other hand is quick and easy to apply, dries fast, and won’t make a mess in your bathroom or your underwear.
• It lasts
While no product is going to keep you dry and odor free forever, Comfy Boys’ longevity is pretty damn impressive. One application after your morning shower should last you most of the day. And if you do find the need to reapply throughout the day. go for it. Just don’t whip your balls out in public to do it. There’s laws against that type of shit.
• Doesn’t clump
If you’ve ever had the unpleasant experience of using a cheap body powder that clumps in all the wrong places, you know how uncomfortable it can be. There’s nothing worse than using a grooming product to alleviate a specific problem, only to have it create a whole new one. Thankfully Comfy Boys doesn’t present that problem. This fast drying lotion applies smoothly and easily, and does it’s job without any clumping, grittiness, or unpleasantness.
What I don’t like:
SweatBlock (4 oz)
Did you ever wish you could punch ball odor and sweat in the face? Well unfortunately you can’t. But what you can do is make it your little bitch by stopping it before it starts with SweatBlock. SweatBlock is a body powder lotion that is designed to absorb sweat and eliminate odor from your stink zones. This includes arm pits, ass crack, and of course ball sacks. Just slather on a little SweatBlock after your morning shower, and the fresh smelling lotion dries to a light powdery finish. The result is less moisture, less stink, and less irritation. Fuck you ball sack!
What I like about SweatBlock:
• Powder feel, without the mess
Just like a good body powder, SweatBlock lotion reduces friction, fights odor, and absorbs moisture, but doesn’t leave your bathroom or clothes a powdery mess. Simply apply a small amount to the desired area (a little goes a long way) after your morning shower, and SweatBlock keeps you dry, odor free, and comfortable for hours.
• Fresh scent
While it’s not necessarily a masculine fragrance (it’s more gender neutral) I still dig it. I would describe it as a light, fresh, and clean scent, but not overpowering. It doesn’t clash with cologne or body spray, and no one is likely to smell it unless they have their face in your crotch. Lucky you.
What I don’t like:
Batwings (8 oz)
The name kind of says it all with this one. Batwings lotion for men’s balls is designed to reduce chaffing, irritated skin, and of course prevent the dreaded bat wings associated with sweaty sticky balls. This lightly scented lotion is formulated with coconut oil that keeps your balls moisturized and smooth, and even helps reduce bacteria that leads to a funky smelling ball sack. Joy.
What I like about Batwings:
• Coconut oil
Coconut oil seems to be finding it’s way into every grooming product these days, and for good reason. Not only is it extremely moisturizing, it’s also a natural antibacterial that is capable of killing odor causing germs and bacteria. It’s inclusion in Batwings makes this a great option for guys looking to keep their balls moisturized, comfortable, and stink free. And which guy isn’t?
• Light scent
While some of you guys may prefer their grooming products to have a big, strong, overpowering scent, sometimes subtlety is best. The all-natural fragrance of Batwings lotion is light and fresh, and certainly won’t clash with your cologne or body spray. The only one’s who are going to smell it are you, and whoever is diving into your balls head first.
• Reduces chaffing and irritation
No guy wants to deal with irritation and discomfort; especially in the groin area. With our balls crammed together in the crotch of our pants all day, it’s extremely common for guys to experience pain and discomfort that’s a result of constant heat, friction, and rubbing. Batwings is specifically designed to eliminate this problem by moisturizing the ball sack and reducing friction.
Why Do Balls Smell?
Hey buddy, your balls fucking stink!
Every guy gets testicle odor. Whether they know it or not. Since most men can’t reach their head to their nuts (boooo), lots of guys are completely oblivious to the fact that their balls carry an odor.
While there are many contributing factors to testicle odor, it’s worth noting that the scent of your balls, and the strength of that scent, can vary from day to day.
So now you know that your nuts stink, let’s take a look at a few of the reasons why.
What did you eat bruh!?
Believe it or not, diet has a major impact on body and ball odor. If you occasionally notice that your balls and body are unusually funky, there might be something in your diet that is the source of the problem. While most foods won’t make you smell like a goat, here is a list of common foods that may be causing your balls to stink up the joint:
- Brussel sprouts
Are you sweating your balls off?
Heat is probably the most common culprit when it comes to ball odor. Since clothes are legally required in public, most guys spend the majority of the day with their balls in an environment of heat, sweat, moisture, friction, discomfort. The perfect environment for odor causing bacteria to thrive.
So what is a fella to do?
Since airing out your balls isn’t always an option, you might want to consider clothing that allows for a little breathing room. Consider wearing boxers, and opt for looser fitting pants or shorts to allow for optimum air circulation.
Thanks for checking out my list of best lotions for men’s balls. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or personal experience with any of the above products, leave a comment below.