Updated: March 31, 2020
By Derek Martin
Okay guys, let’s get real for a second and face the reality of the situation: our balls fucking stink.
Yes, you read that right.
My balls stink, your balls stink, all men’s balls fucking stink.
So what’s a guy to do?
The way I see it, there’s really only two options for dealing with ball funk.
1.You embrace the stink. You relish it. You confidently bask daily in the unadulterated funk of your ball-bag without remorse or shame.
2. You do something about it. You grab your balls by the neck and say “HEY! enough is enough damnit! I will not live my life hindered and afraid of your foul odor!”
I would naturally expect any respectable man to choose the second option. A Guy who chooses the first option often lives his life as a reject. A school and workplace outcast. He’s often the subject of cruel whispers and the butt of many jokes. His name is usually Kyle.
So now that you’ve accepted the fact that your testicles stink, it’s time to take preventative measures that significantly reduce or eliminate ball odor from forming.
Check out my list of best ball and body powders for men
Ball and Body Powder
One the greatest inventions mankind has ever created is a white powdery substance that brings pleasure and sheer bliss to any guy who uses it.
And no, I’m not talking about cocaine.
What I’m referring to is a magical powder that is applied to your balls and body that helps eliminate stink, sweat, chaffing, irritation, and discomfort. I’m talking about ball and body powder.
What to Look for in a Ball and Body Powder
The first thing you have to understand is that all ball and body powders are NOT created equal.
I spent many years in the restaurant industry and like any cook will tell you, 8+ hours a day in a hot and humid kitchen is absolute murder on your crotch and balls.
While the usual sweat and stink were minor inconveniences, the major problem was the stinging, burning, chaffed skin feeling that plagued my every move.
Clearly unable to go on working in that degree of discomfort, I found solace in regularly applying those cheap grocery store bought body powders (Gold Bond anyone?). While the Gold Bond did alleviate much of the friction, irritation and discomfort, it didn’t last long, and needed to reapplied often.
It wasn’t until years later I discovered that there are some much more effective, and longer lasting options available on the market.
If you’re interested, check out my article covering the best ball and body powders for men.
While these “premium” body powders are much more effective than the cheap shit you’ll find at the grocery store, they also typically cost quite a bit more. But as the old saying goes, you get what you pay for.
Some of the benefits of using a premium ball and body powder:
- More effective
- Safe, natural ingredients
- Longer lasting
- Less powder needed per use
- Smoother, silkier texture
When it comes to men’s grooming products I prefer to use safe, natural ingredients on my skin, especially if I’m putting it on my dick and balls region. I trust that most of you guys would agree.
Some common ingredients you’ll find in all-natural ball and body powders are:
- Corn starch
- Baking soda
- Arrowroot powder
- Essential oils
- Aloe leaf extract
- Menthol (cooling)
If you’re looking for a safe, natural, and organically derived ball and body powder, I recommend checking out Brickell Stay Fresh Powder (available on Amazon).
Another thing to consider is the “cooling effect.” If you’re the type of guy that likes to feel a cooling chill on your sack, I suggest you choose a powder that contains menthol. For a great, all-natural, cooling ball powder, I recommend Bozak Powder (available on Amazon).
How to Powder Your Balls
Now that you have your bottle of powder in one hand and your balls in the other, it’s clearly time to start dousing those puppies in powder, right?
While applying powder to your testicles isn’t rocket science, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure optimum efficacy of the powder, and to help extend the life of the bottle.
• Shower first
Before you even think about blasting your nutsack with powder, get in the shower. Ball powder is not supposed to mask the scent of testicle odor, it’s intended to prevent it. So the first step to applying powder to your balls is to make sure your crotch, nuts, crack, and gooch are thoroughly cleaned and free of odor and odor causing bacteria. Check out my list of best soaps and washes for men’s balls.
• Make sure you’re dry
Yes, cake batter is delicious. But that slop that’s covering your dick and balls after you’ve applied ball powder while you’re still wet doesn’t taste nearly as good. Once you’re all clean and out of the shower it’s important to make sure you thoroughly dry yourself off. You might be surprised how much moisture can hide in the cracks, crevices, and folds of your skin, so make sure to really dig deep with the towel. If you’re man enough, I suggest bending over and spreading ass in front of a strong fan. Sure, it’ll feel demeaning as hell, but it gets the job done.
• Waste not
Now that your balls are thoroughly clean and dry it’s time to apply the powder. The best practice for applying ball powder is to pour a quarter size amount into the palm of your hand and manually apply it to the desired area. This will help ensure that your trouble areas are thoroughly covered and it’ll significantly reduce powder waste.
Application methods I DON’T recommend:
- Having a strong fan blast the powder back at you.
- Blindly dumping the powder down the front of your pants.
- Creating a Lebron James type powder bomb in the air.
Not only are these methods ineffective, they are messy as hell and very wasteful. If you’re rocking a premium bottle of ball powder you want to get the most out of your investment. The goal is to get more powder on your balls and less on the ground.
What’s the Difference Between Body Powder and Talcum Powder?
Since body powder and talcum powder are designed to serve the same purpose, people often use the term interchangeably to describe both.
While there’s little difference in terms of functionality between these two products, it really all comes down to the ingredients used to formulate them.
As the name suggests, talcum powder is made from a natural mineral called talc, and is comprised of 3 main elements: oxygen, silicon, and magnesium.
In it’s powder form, talc is really good at absorbing moisture and reducing friction – which is why it is commonly found in many skincare products that are designed to eliminate sweat, moisture, and irritation, including:
- Foot powder
- Baby powder
- Medicated powder
Talcum Powder Health Risks
In it’s natural form, talc has been shown to contain cancer causing asbestos, and has even been linked to ovarian cancer in women.
While talcum powder is now required to be free of asbestos, woman are still encouraged to use non-talc based powders for personal use.
Just like talcum powder, Body powder is designed to eliminate sweat, moisture, friction, odor, and bacteria, but is typically formulated with cornstarch instead of talc.
Can You Put Baby Powder on Your Balls? Is it Safe?
Yes, of course. Baby powder is specifically designed for the sensitive skin of a newborn baby. That means it’s completely safe for you to dust your balls in the stuff if you so desire.
But it really shouldn’t be a question of whether you can put baby powder on your balls. The real question is, should you?
While baby powder ingredients vary slightly from brand to brand, they’re all essentially designed to serve the same purpose: prevent diaper rash, and reduce moisture buildup inside a diaper. Another thing they all tend to have in common is that characteristic baby powder fragrance.
I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t wear a diaper and I certainly don’t want to smell like I have one on. I’d also be willing to wager that the funky crotch region of a full-grown adult male probably requires something a little stronger than powder designed for the sensitive skin of a baby.
While baby powder is capable of stopping sweaty balls, I recommend you step up to the big leagues and consider a body powder that’s designed specifically for the crotch of an adult male. One of my personal favorite ball and body powders for men is Fromonda Citrus IPA (Amazon). It not only eliminates ball sweat, odor, and bacteria, it has an awesome fragrance that’s inspired by a fresh citrus IPA beer. What could be more manlier than that?